Perspective

I am in the last couple of days of my maternity leave. Next Tuesday I am back doing my "other" job, and trying to get life back to "normal". It's interesting how I'm feeling now about next week than what I felt six weeks ago, and it started with a simple conversation with some friends.

When R was newly born, we were chatting with friends, and I mentioned how quickly the six weeks were going to fly by, and it just wasn't enough time. My friend looked at me and said, "Aw, don't look at it that way. Try to see it as you get six great weeks with your family."

It may seem like a simple statements, but it hit me right between the eyes. My friend probably doesn't even remember saying it. I believe that was God speaking those words to me, and that conversation has come to my mind often since then. I love it that God has put people around me that speak life.

Sometimes God has to remind me that life is about perspective. For example, I have compared my maternity leave with others' - the three months, the paid leave, the six months, others even longer. I could live the six weeks dreading work and complaining about it, or enjoy those weeks even more.

Of course this applies to other areas of my life (which is why it hit me so hard) - that yes, there are some things that I had wish had been done differently over the years. I have dwelt upon those things, when many times I have missed the blessings that have come from those moments. Or maybe I should have just looked at it a little differently?

I'm probably rambling, so forgive me if this post doesn't make much sense. Maybe I should sum it up and say God is good to hit us between the eyes once in a while. He does it with much love. I am praying that I become a person who speaks life to others, and not negativity or death.

So here I am, a couple days out from returning to work. I am at peace about next week - not necessarily looking forward to it, but ready for it. It was God who put that peace there, and it's good. And He's good.

Thank you, Father, for peace that passes understanding
And thank you for those who speak life
And for the right perspective

What I'm Loving...

1. Our newest addition. Now I now how you can love two kiddos in the same moment.
2. Snuggling with Babe. He's pretty great.
3. Sitz baths. Let's be real here.

4. How this kiddo knows what she wants. As soon as she saw the purple glasses she knew... they were to be hers.
5. Bubbles in the wind.
6. Family walks.

7. How weeds can be the most beautiful flowers.
8. Sleeping with the windows open on a breezy night.

9. The three people above. Life is so much richer with the three of them in my life.
10. How blessed I am to have L. He's a good daddy and a great husband.

Flower Power

E helped me plant these flowers on Saturday. They were on serious markdown, so I wasn't incredibly concerned if she was rough with them. Mostly she liked putting the dirt in and watering the flowers. "More water" she kept repeating. This is one of the fun aspects of parenting - teaching her, helping her learn, and seeing her eyes light up with excitement. I wish I had bought a few more plants, because flowers just make everything happier, don't they?

She has loved watching her Daddy work on our house, and it feels like we're getting somewhere, thank God. We're going room by room (ignoring the kitchen and living room at the moment), and each night we've tried to get something done - even if it feels minor.

Something that's helped us get our bottoms moving is 1) my nesting instinct 2) the fact we've decided to go without cable once again. No cable = no channels. We went cable free a few years ago when we bought our first house, and didn't want to pay for cable. I don't remember missing it (though, we relied heavily on our friends T and B to record Lost episodes).

We found that we were using cable as background noise, and we ended up watching shows that we never even cared about. There's nothing wrong with vegging once in a while, but it sucked up more time than it should have. So we're back to pocketing some extra cash, and being "forced" to find something to do in the evenings, even if it is just reading, etc.

Of course, don't worry. We're still feeding our Lost addiction and watching it online. Some shows are just worth keeping up with. :)

So, I'm Done

This is the one thing that I'm going to miss about our duplex - our lilac tree (er, bush). I really love the scent of lilacs... maybe our landlord/realtor will still let us clip a few as a thank you for all of our great business? :)

My main goal was to get a little more prepared for baby this weekend. The car seats are in the car, the baby's room is sort of up and running. The dipes/covers are ready to go with some disposables thrown in. Clothes are sorted. Blankets are folded. Swing is ready to go. Now we just need baby.

And, boy, this weekend made me decide that I am SO done being pregnant. This whole pregnancy I've been panicked that we have so much to do, so much on my mind. I'm certain that God makes us go these 40 weeks so that we welcome the birthing process by the end of them.

I'm uncomfortable and my belly is huge. :) Getting on the floor is probably humorous for my clients to see. Getting up is even funnier, I'm sure. I had some pretty strong contractions over the weekend, which encouraged me to get my bum moving on all things baby.

My doc says I'm dilated 2 cm, my cervix is thinning "nicely", and the baby's head is pretty low. He jokingly said "I bet you're feeling every pound of that". Why, yes, I am Mr. Doctor, which is why I am now waddling, and much of the reason why I'm ready to be done.

And I will be soon. Maybe later than sooner. Maybe sooner than later. But eventually, right?

The Girl's Room

So we're going room by room, trying to get ourselves situated, so that we feel like we're actually accomplishing something. E's room isn't finished - her wall art is somewhere in the box abyss, but we're slowly making headway.

Here's what we have for now. The "Before Shot" - no carpet, and yes, they did paint the window green. Gotta love it.

And a couple "in process/maybe after depending how ambitious we get" pics:

And 2009 Begins

So this was part of how our New Year's Eve was spent. Cake and candles. What can be better?

Our 2008 was a year of pretty decent focus. We moved into a two bedroom duplex to save more money and time (less cleaning, no snow plowing/mowing), and it's been such a blessing. Also, we spent much more time getting healthy, which was surprisingly more fun than expected.

For 2009, we discussed what it means to "simplify", and for me, the definition often gets blurred. L and I were chatting about it last night, and he said, "I think simplify just means you act with more focus. More purpose." I liked that.

We are hoping to scale back a little on some of the responsibilities we've taken on, and focus this year on people, our family (as we will expect a new addition to our family), and our faith. Back to the basics, but also stepping up on some things we haven't been willing to commit to. As we get more refined on what that means, I'll write more about it.

So, if you think about it, please pray for us as we venture into the New Year and that our eyes would be opened to opportunities around us. Thanks!

Signs of the New Year?

Another pleasant surprise this morning while I was baking my birthday cake/New Year's cake. Winter makes me appreciate the sunshine so much more. Praise God for different seasons!

The New Year always makes me a little more introspective. L and I make goals every year, and so it always puts into perspective how we want to live our lives. We've discussed making some changes to simplify our lives a little bit, and what will remain the same. It's been a great conversation piece the past few days.

Happy New Year, All!

Good Food

One good thing about being part of a community garden is that you get fresh produce each week. The other day it was a little chilly here - in the 60's I think? It kind of put me in the mood for a warm meal, like soup.

It's become my version of vegetable soup, because it was everything in my refrigerator that needed to be used up. I used chicken stock, shallots, carrots (shown above), garlic, onion, broccoli, zucchini and rice in the soup. Bonus points for me: all of the vegetables were locally grown. It was yummy, though the leftovers are still in the refrigerator waiting to be eaten. It's now warm here, and I'm craving summer food. :)

Yesterday was a picnic for my work. We invited all of the families that we serve, as well as all the of providers. It was fun meeting some of my co-workers, and clients, too. I brought a cheese tortellini salad, and it was a hit. I just threw some Parmesan cheese, red onion (though I wish I had added more of this, but I love the stuff), black olives, and spinach in with the cooked and cooled tortellini and some Italian dressing. Three people asked me for the recipe, but it seemed that most people just loved the dressing. :) But seriously. Who doesn't love Italian dressing? It's my favorite.

Anyway it's off to tend to my hungry and tired child. She hasn't napped today (which equals no work on my part), and we have L's work picnic tonight. Hopefully she can make it a few more hours before bed.

First Day

Well today was my first day leaving E in daycare and heading to my "other job". It was only a half day today, so I was more confident about leaving her. L dropped her off, and later told me that she did well - no tears, etc. When I went to pick her up, she looked pretty tired (and D, the daycare lady, told me that E was laying down on her and probably would have slept, but she was trying to keep the kiddo awake since I was due to come soon).

E loved sitting on everyone's lap, shutting the door (her obsession right now), and listening to all of the stories that were read to her. This made me feel so much better, and now I'm not as concerned about tomorrow. Of course, my kiddo does NOT nap well in other places, but maybe she'll be so tuckered out from playing with the other kids that she'll crash? Here's to hoping.

My day went well - pretty uneventful. I realized that there appears to be much less paperwork up here (and about a 1/4 of caseload as downstate), and the services seem better, too. The system is just completely different here, so it'll take a little getting used to. It does seem to be a very family friendly place to work, which is a relief, too. C, my boss appears very laid back. Yay for that.


Anyway, other than that, life is same ol' same ol'. E did have her very first taste of corn on the cob over the weekend. She enjoyed it, though she had a hard time holding on to it properly (it kept slipping from her hands). She seemed to enjoy it raw more than cooked, but ate it both ways. We're corn lovers in my family (in fact, my siblings and I worked at a corn stand our entire jr. high/high school career), so it seems like E is enjoying its yumminess, too. Though, in this picture it looks like she's kissing the corn, doesn't it?

Blueberry Fun

Yesterday was busy, but my dad and I fit a couple hours of blueberry picking in the afternoon. It was fun and relaxing, though I was hot and hungry after we were done. We were able to grab 13 quarts before we left, so it was a good feeling to know we have some local berries for the winter. I thought about taking the kiddo with me, but after our strawberry picking adventure, I knew that she wouldn't have the patience to be there long enough to pick the desired about of blueberries. Maybe we'll take her again before the season is finished.

So, obviously we've been doing a lot of freezing today. We've already filled one gallon bag of blueberries, and MANY more to go. We've also frozen green beans and peas (thanks, Dad!), too. It's been a busy food day, but it's fun watching our freezer fill with lots of goodies, knowing our tummies will thank us later. :)

Necessity is the Mother of Invention

I am constantly running out of Swiffer pad refills, and it drives me crazy how expensive they are to buy all of the time. For a while I was just using old rags and a bucket to wash the floors, but this got tiring really fast (E did love to help, but she slipped too many times for my comfort).

Today I realized that we were out of them (again), and since it was too much of a hassle to run to the store, I read where some make reusable pads. It worked well enough for me to say bye bye to the $5 or whatever it is to buy the refills. I just used some microfiber towels, folded them in half and sewed it. Voila - pads. Less trash and more money. Yay.

In equally exciting news, I feel like I'm getting ready to go back to school with the list of materials I need to buy for work. Pens. A planner (old one donated to L). A lunch box and a water bottle. And oddly enough, I'm pretty excited about looking for these items, but I used to love the fall of the year and getting my backpack ready for the first day of class. Strange, silly me.

Anyway, back to the daily grind of chores and figuring out dinner, before it's too late to thaw anything. Note to self: pull meat out the night before you need it.

And We're Back

We made it through the weekend in one piece. Actually camping went much smoother than what I pictured it my head (one advantage to looking at the glass half empty, I guess). The kiddos did struggle a little bit to sleep (and E barely napped), but it could have been much worse than what it was.
It poured the first evening we were there. And I mean POURED. We ran into the tent, and tried to wait until it subsided. This is a terrible photo, but you can see the large puddle of water until K, R, and M's tent - it felt like you were on a water bed each time you took a step inside of it. We managed to get into the car and get to a restaurant, and by the time we got back, the puddle was gone. Crazy.
This is just a cute photo from the our day trip to the falls. E was pretty tired, but kept pushing forward.
The beach at the campground was gorgeous. The first day was extremely windy, and the waves were huge, so it felt like we were at the ocean. We all enjoyed the beach - M chased bird after bird after bird, E was spent much of the time in the sand and found a log that she rode like a horse. I think that we'll be finding sand for months to come.

This was the sunset we were able to enjoy the last night we were there. Wow. God's creation is just breathtaking. The nature, the company and the memories are just priceless. I'd say E and M's first camping experience was a success. Good times.

What To Do, What To Do...

E is all girl - she is OBSESSED with shoes. She calls them "eet" (feet), and is constantly asking me to put my shoes on her, L's shoes... pretty much anyone's shoe. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I only have like three or four pairs of shoes to work with, so she gets bored, and wants to walk in Daddy's boots. Right now she's wearing some slippers we got for free that are one size too big for her.
E is 16 months, and a very busy toddler. It appears that she's down to one nap - from two or three the past month and a half. The more awake time means we have to come up with more activities for her to do. We've been going to the beach a few times a week, but she appears to be growing tired of it. Yesterday we went to the playground at the elementary school, and wow... she fell in love. Even after two hours of hard play, she had a mini tantrum when we left. Guess where we will be spending much of our upcoming days?

What are some at home activities that you guys do with your kiddos? What are your child's favorite at home activity? At the moment my kiddo loves books, play dough, dried beans or oatmeal with cups/spoons, markers and finger paints. Any ideas will keep our days moving in a good direction. :)

And....

These are some flowers that we cut from our yard on Saturday. They died on Sunday. At least we got to enjoy them for the afternoon/evening, and L managed to get some photos for his class. Ah well.

Well I found out that I got the job. This is good news, since I was expecting an offer. :) This seems to be a "God thing". A month or two ago, I decided to start looking for something part time - to get out of the house, etc. Found hospital job. Interviewed hospital job. Hated hospital job. Didn't find anything else, so I took it as a sign that staying home was for me unless a social work job that I would enjoy opened up. There aren't many social work jobs at all, let alone part time ones.

So I go to the garden I volunteer at once a week (it's amazing they let me around plants, but that's another story). M, the gardener, asks me how family life is, and if I was planning on working outside the home or not. I tell him that yes, I had just re-entered the job hunt, but it was unlikely to find anything social work related. He asks me if I've ever heard of Early On. Yes, that's where most of my experience is. He says, well my girlfriend is the coordinator of Early On, and they have a position opening up. I ask if it's part time, he says he doesn't know. Later that day, we check out the website, and find out that it's part time. And the pay is good. And the hours are flexible. And the staff is laid back.

So I took the job. And it just so happens that the wife of one of L's co-workers runs a daycare.
And she's a Christian, and has been running a daycare for 28 years, and just recently had a part time slot open up. So I'm hoping that this will pan out and be the "perfect" place.

Enough prattling on with my overabundance of "ands". I'm excited, nervous, scared, but looking forward to the challenge. Thanks for all of your prayers. Please continue to pray as we hunt for a daycare and that I'll deal with the guilt I'm already feeling.

Biking

A couple of months ago, A (my sis-in-law), R (friend), and I took part in a non competitive triathlon. My reasoning for doing the triathlon was to get back into exercising, and it really worked... for about two months. I either biked or ran every night... and I felt good. Of course, after the race ended, I took some "time off", and well... it's been quite a long holiday.

So over the past month or so, we've started doing some lengthy walks downtown (we're a little further away than what we were in our last rental). These would generally be "fun" walks - just to get outside and have family time. Well, in an effort to exercise more and use my car less, I've decided to use the bike for practical reasons too. The kiddo and I have biked to the beach a couple of times, and most recently, I've biked E to her doctor's appt. It was a 4 1/2 mile ride total, but it was a little tricky with the amount of foot traffic there was to deal with (tourists), and then there was "the" hill. Of course, I am still getting over my cold, so I felt a little dizzy after my ride. Still we made it back in one piece, and it encouraged me to keep on "keeping on". So, let's hope the trend continues until the snow flies (which is hopefully a long time from now).

In other news, my interview was yesterday. It went okay - it's been a while, so I definitely wasn't at the top of my game. The staff seemed really laid back and fun, so I felt comfortable. Some positives: the pay is A LOT better than I was making downstate, I make my own schedule and can do a little work from home, good mileage reimbursement. Negatives: putting E in daycare, having to drive on wintry roads, wear and tear on my car.

I'm not going to think about the position unless it's offered to me. Then it'll be a mad dash of decision making and daycare finding. :) L was suddenly more interested when he heard the pay, and to be honest, I was too. So, we'll see. Thanks for all of the prayers. :)

It's a Tough Job Being a Mom

Sometimes I have a hard time properly modeling how I want E to act.... and it's really beginning to bother me. Boy, it's hard work being a mom - and at the moment, I'm overwhelmed. There were so many things that should have been handled differently over the past week.

I'm a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, and my actions this week weren't that great. As mentioned earlier, the kiddo and I have been dealing with a cold over the past several days. Poor little thing has been miserable - uncomfortable, having difficulty breathing properly, tired... just on edge. She needed more cuddles than I gave her. She deserved more understanding for sure, since I was dealing with something similar, but with the advantage of cold medicine. Yet still I got frustrated and short on patience.

And since I wasn't feeling well, the television was on FAR too much this week. Ugh. I remember being a TV free family, and now I'm thinking that perhaps we need to get back to that. Her interest is starting to grow in the silly thing. I don't care how many educational cartoons they put on that screen, there's no substitute for playing and learning in real life. Yet, how can I say, "Well, E, you can only watch 20 minutes of Elmo in the morning b/c you need to explore life, but I will watch whatever I want whenever I want"?

The TV thing of course leads to the fact that I didn't play with her as much as she deserved. We did get outside a fair bit, but come on - it's summer! We should basically live out there! We didn't read as many books together as we normally do. Or do puzzles, or craft projects.

The TV thing leads to my eating habits the past few days. We were doing well cutting out the caffeine, and it's ridiculous how much we consumed this week. Oh, and the sugar. We may be consuming a lot more fruits and veggies, but the amount of sugar has skyrocketed. Thankfully E has much better eating habits than we do - she loves peas, asparagus, carrots... really mostly all fruits and veggies. I'd like to keep that trend up. She does want what we're eating, and again, it's a "do as I say, not as a I do" sort of thing.

More importantly, my quiet time has really been weakened over the past couple of weeks. And today I nagged and picked at L for no reason. Of course, I want E to know how important a relationship with Christ is, and how important it is to act/speak with love and respect toward your spouse. If I'm the woman E is looking up to for spiritual, emotional, physical and relational guidance, she's been sorely disappointed lately. And that makes me feel very disappointed too.

Thankfully God gives us grace to cover all of our sins, and strength to help us in our weakness. It just shows how MUCH and OFTEN I need to be on my knees daily, begging for guidance, patience, strength, and love. Hopefully E will learn what it means to be a godly woman and see what I've done right, and not so much what I'm doing wrong.

Because seriously. How cute is this kid? She deserves the best.

Berry Good

Early this morning we went berry picking. E was tired, and wanted to nap, but my mind was made up to find some strawberries and pick as many as possible. Who could resist this glorious goodness above? I'm hoping to freeze most of them, and possibly make some jam, if I'm feeling ambitious. We'll see.

E did well for the most part, but she melted down at times. This would be a great little outing for kids a little older. What a great way for children to see where their food comes from, and a great way to keep them involved. I'm noticing E loves to help out, and feel like a "big girl". :)
Here sits the 10 pounds of strawberries that we picked. I have no idea to know if this is enough or not, but it'll do for now. Yummy deliciousness is what this is. :)

Ugh.

I think I'm over complicating the decision to go back to work. Part of me is just ready to get out and back into the professional field for a little while, even if this position isn't related to social work at all. Another part of me wonders if this is the best way to spend my time. I've been thinking a lot about precious time is, and if this is how I want mine to be spent... My reasoning isn't financially driven, so in some ways, I'm having a difficult time justifying the decision to go back. Of course sanity is important, too, sooo...

Seriously. I think TOO much at times. Maybe I should wait until I actually get the job before I stress out, right?

In more interesting news, E loves to water her flowers, and so that's been fun for her to do. Granted, she loves to just play with water, in whatever capacity she can get it. It's so fun getting her involved in projects now - from cleaning to planting flowers to art projects. This is such a great age.

Life

This is a photo that L submitted as part of his photography class. It made us chuckle, because it's a shadow of E with my shoe on her hand. Random. Who needs shoes on their feet, when you can wear them on your hands?

In completely unrelated news, I got a call from the hospital, and it seems they want to interview me next week. That's good news. Of course, now it means I might have to start looking into daycares/babysitters, and coordinating schedules with L more often. I'm already starting to feel guilty about returning to work part time. Ugh. Guilt. We'll have to see what the schedule entails before any decisions are made (provided the job is offered to me, of course).

And yes, the cloth wipes are going well, though I still need to make a few more and get my set up organized (waiting on a couple of things). I haven't noticed any reaction from the solution I've been using on her. I just made up this solution on my own, and will try others to see if it makes any difference.

This is the solution I've tried so far:

- Squirt of Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Soap
- Couple drops of Lavender Essential Oil
- Couple of drops of Tea Tree Oil
- Water

I'll post others as I try them, but this one does smell nice, and I'm a sucker for nice smelling things. :)

Dinner Last Night: Turkey Chili. I know it's more of a winter dish, but I'm not convinced that summer has arrived just yet, as it was freezing yesterday.